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July 29, 2004


Can you still buy a washing machine in Alabama? A motorcycle? A horse? How about a lacey bra or panties? "Devices that can be sexually stimulating" is awfully broad. What a bunch of backward backwater backholes; goes to show you how badly a bible can f**k you up. I think that people were more open-minded in medieval times. And to say, "If the people of Alabama in time decide that a prohibition on sex toys is misguided..." is to take a dangerously passive stance: isn't that what the court's there for in the first place? To protect the citizens from their own ignorance? If they decided to make slavery legal again, would the court simply wait until the people decided it was misguided? I would hope not (especially in Alabama!). Alabama is almost as big a disgrace to the United States as Dubya. International readers please note: "the south" is so backward that you shouldn't even think of it as a part of the United States. Please accept my apologies for their incredible ignorance, and if you visit, please stick to the northern states.


The battery industry will never recover!

Viking Dave

In a follow-up to this story the Viking has heard that Alabama has also decided to ban old Beach Boy records. Additionally, a contract has been issued by the state legislature for the two remaining living members of the Beatles who started all this long-haired hippie stuff nearly forty years ago. Bowing to pressure from Alabama's more rural constituents, the two members of the musical group who are already dead will be exhumed and auctioned off to eligible women in hard to reach areas near the Tennessee River. Only in America.


Our legislators must all be voyeurs! They can't stay out of the bedrooms of U.S. citizens. After outlawing sex toys, I assume they will outlaw masturbation. Will they out law phallic fruits and vegetables? "Arrest her, she's got a zucchini with intent." Where does this ridiculous kind of legislation end?

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